Happiness « The AI-Therapy Blog

I have blogged before about my a love-hate relationship with Facebook. At its best, it is a great way to keep in touch with people and see what everyone is up to. However, the downside is that Facebook presents us with a biased and filtered view of the world. This is partly because we have a tendency to present ourselves the way we wish to be seen, rather than the way things are. Our friends are having non-stop fun, their babies never cry, they globe-trot to exotic locations, they bump into celebrities, they always have funny and insightful things to say, etc… This is why a good friend of mine calls it “Fakebook”.

It seems to me that in the early days of Facebook (way back in the mid to late 2000’s) people were more “real”. They were less concerned about their online image, and much more open. In fact, if you’ve had an account for more than a few years, it can be very interesting to use the timeline feature to see what sorts of things you were writing publicly on your friends’ walls a few years ago.

In general, spending too much time on Facebook is not great for your mental health. This blog is about how can we prevent Facebook from having a negative impact on our mental lives, and maybe even lead to increased happiness. I’ve included a few tips below, and would be happy to hear of any other ideas.

Tip 1. Moderation

The first tip is obvious but important: don’t spend too much time on Facebook. As with pretty much anything, excessive use leads to trouble. How much is too much? Well, that depends on the individual, I set myself daily limits, but I would say that you shouldn’t spend more than a few hours a week on the site. The tricky part is cutting back, because sometimes we head to the site as an unconscious reflex whenever we have a free minute. I’ve found the following helps limit my usage:

I’ve turned off all the notifications that are sent to email/my phone
I try not use it in social situations
I make a point of leaving my smartphone at home when I truly want to relax

If this is proving difficult, one way is to use the Chrome browser and install the StayFocused plugin.

Tip 2: Limit updates from certain people

Sometimes we have connections on Facebook with people who we are not that close to, and for one reason or another they do not have a positive impact on our happiness. It is important to make sure that updates from these people do not come up in your news feed (use the “unsubscribe” option).

Tip 3. Don’t rely on Facebook for updates from important people in your life

My sister is due to have her third baby around Christmas. Obviously, I want to know everything there is to know about how things are going for her. However, I miss lots of her Facebook updates because they don’t always appear in my feed. This is because an algorithm somewhere is deciding which posts to show me, and which ones to skip. Take a moment to think about this. Given that over a billion people use Facebook, this algorithm has incredible power and influence over the flow of information in the world. Always keep in mind that you may miss important updates, and that there is no replacements for old fashioned phone calls and catch-ups.

Tip 4. At the end of each year, use the timeline to find highlights from each month

My husband and I have a tradition that we’ve kept alive since we first met in 2006. Sometime between Christmas and New Years we create a calendar to use for the upcoming year. For each month of the new year we select a “happiness highlight” photo from the same month of the previous year. For example, here is the June 2009 photo, which we took when we went hiking in Greenland in June 2008:

Not all photos have to be from significant events; sometimes we can have very fond memories of normal day-to-day activities. Our only rule is to pick photos that make us happy.

What does this have to do with Facebook? Well, it used to be very long process for us to gather all the photos from the previous year and arrange them by date. However, Facebook’s Timeline feature now does this for us. Many photos end up on Facebook these days, and as I said earlier, there is already a bias towards highlights. Therefore, it is a perfect way to review the past year, and pick out some great photos. In fact, customized calendars, cups, mouse pads or whatever are great Christmas presents.

My husband and I always get our calendar printed, and it serves as a great memory of each year. However, even if you don’t print a calendar, it is still a good idea to make the most of Facebook’s record of our lives. Think about the times when you were happiest. What do they have in common? Facebook allows us to take an empirical look at ourselves, and we can use this information to make positive changes. So, to answer the original question “can Facebook make you happy?”. I would say yes, if you use it wisely.

Fjola Helgadottir, PhD, MClinPsych, is a clinical psychologist, a senior research clinician at the University of Oxford, and is a co-creator of AI-Therapy.com, an online CBT treatment program for overcoming social anxiety

“Fear of failure prevents us from making progress”
– Garry Kasparov, Oxford Union, 9th of November 2012

Last night I went to a debate at the Oxford Union on the subject “Is the current growth crisis a result of decades of technological stagnation in a risk-averse society?”. One of the speakers was Garry Kasparov, who is famous for political activism and for being one of the greatest chess players of all time. In a 2003 chess match he tied IBM’s Deep Junior (after loosing to Deep Blue in 1997), a machine capable of evaluating 3 million chess positions in 1 second. Given Kasparov’s amazing mind, I felt that it was worth listening to what he had to say.

It was a fascinating debate, and both sides made some excellent points. Garry was on the “Aye” side, and argued that today’s technological advances are slower and less impressive than those of previous generations. In particular, he talked about the great achievements of the cold war era in the 50s and 60s. He pointed out that many of today’s “modern” technologies (e.g. the internet) are a direct result of research performed during this time. He closed with a comment along the lines of “the iPhone 5 is nothing compared to Apollo 5”.

Fear of failure prevents people from taking risks, yet taking risks is necessary for progress

One of the topics that was discussed was the reasons why a society ceases to innovate. Garry offered an explanation quoted at the top of this blog – fear of failure prevents people from taking risks, yet taking risks is necessary for progress. This is undoubtedly true, as most breakthroughs are preceded by countless failures.

Garry was talking about societies as a whole, and the risk aversion of government funding bodies and large corporations. However, the same can be said about us as individuals, and I think it has consequences for mental health. For example, consider social anxiety. Risk aversion is one of the reasons that social anxiety doesn’t just go away without evidence based treatments. Social anxiety exaggerates the cost from being wrong, leading to risk aversion. However, treating social anxiety involves challenging your fears and stepping outside your comfort zone. It is worth mentioning that it is well established in psychology that we tend to overestimate risks and the negative consequences of failure.

Returning back to the original talk, Garry was making the point that if our societies are willing to undertake daring challenges, there can be wide ranging positive impacts outside of the original goals (he used the US space program of the 50’s as an example). I would argue that the same holds true for us as individuals. While the speakers were mainly concerned with economic growth, many of their arguments are applicable to psychological growth: overcoming our fear of failure can lead us to healthier and more fulfilling lives.

In anticipation of the upcoming “Mental Illness Awareness Week”, today I am going to discuss 5 devastating consequences of mental health problems. Unfortunately, the consequences are exacerbated by stigmas against those who suffer from mental illnesses, and stigmas against seeking treatment. I am hoping to show you that anxiety, depression, eating disorders, etc. are no less real than other “physical” problems, and deserve to be treated in a similar manner. (I put physical in quotes because, of course, mental and physical problems are deeply intertwined. However, that’s a topic for another blog).

There sometimes seems to be an underlying attitude that mental health problems are less serious than other disorders. This is an unhelpful and unsubstantiated viewpoint. Nobody asks cancer victims to “just toughen up”. However, this is often the sort of advice given to those with mental health issues. This is incredibly sad, given that we now have psychological therapies that are well grounded in scientific research. In particular, new psychological treatments go through rigorous, peer-reviewed testing, in a similar manner as new medical treatments.

Let’s consider the points below, and see what we can do to break the silence around mental health.

1) No-help: People who suffer from problems often do not admit to themselves or others that they need help

This is perhaps the biggest problem due to mental disorder stigmas. By seeking help one is admitting that they have a problem. Often people fear that if they are known to have a mental health issue, it will adversely impact their job or personal relationships. Therefore, seeking help can be very difficult. In fact, it has been estimated that two thirds of people with mental health problems never receive proper treatment. This leaves people alone, blaming themselves, and dealing with their problem in silence.

Taking the first step can be very difficult. This is especially true for social anxiety disorder (SAD), where a fear of being negatively evaluated by others is at the core of the problem.

Small steps are fine. Try talking to a trusted friend, family member or GP. Identify trustworthy people in your life and open up to them about your problems. Quite often, this person will already be aware (to some degree) of your mental health concerns. In fact, it may be the “elephant in the room” that everyone knows about, but no one dares speak of.

In time, after becoming more comfortable with speaking and thinking about your problem, you should aim to seek professional help. However, be careful to avoid:

2) Bad-help: Many people get inappropriate, non-evidence based remedies

It can take some people years to build up the courage to seek help for their mental health problem. Unfortunately, not all treatments are created equal. For example, a quick search on YouTube turns up many so called “cures” that have absolutely no scientific backing. When I say “no scientific backing”, that means, despite grand claims, that no one has ever checked to see if the treatment actually works. Mental disorder stigma makes it more difficult to force people to back up their claims. Also, it creates a market of people looking for “quick fixes”.

Non-evidence based treatments usually make problems worse. In some cases, they do nothing to help the situation, so the sufferer may resign them self to a life where nothing can be done about their problem. In other cases, the treatment itself can be actively harmful.

When seeking help for anxiety, depression, eating disorders, etc., make sure to find a trained psychology/psychiatrist/therapist who uses evidence-based techniques (such as CBT). A good therapist will take their practice seriously and have high professional standards. High quality online therapies that deliver CBT are another option, especially for those without easy access to well-trained professionals, or those who would prefer to stay anonymous when seeking help.

3) Suicide: As with physical illnesses, mental illnesses can be fatal

In the most tragic of cases, suicide can be a consequence of an untreated mental health problem. The stigma associated with having a mental illness can make a bad situation even worse – to a point where people see no other way out.

If you have ever thought about suicide, it is very important to seek help immediately. Check out this link to find someone in your country that you can speak to. Otherwise, go see a doctor and ask for a referral.

4) Alcoholism: Drinking to cope with problems

Many people abuse alcohol in an attempt to cope with their mental health problems. For example, people with chronic untreated social anxiety may deal with it by using alcohol and/or drugs to help them perform in social situations. Other people use alcohol or drugs as a temporary escape from depression. In all cases, this coping strategy is (A) dangerous and physically harmful, and (B) making recovery from the underlying problem more difficult.

5) Decrease quality of life: Happiness, health, relationships, etc

Almost by definition, mental health problems impact the happiness of those who suffer from them. People often have a low opinion of themselves, struggle in relationships, experience frequent stress, anger, and anxiety, etc. However, there are wider ranging impacts that should also be taken into consideration. For example, untreated mental health problems are associated with a shorter life span. Furthermore, one must also consider the impact on family members and loved ones.

Summary

The stigma associated with mental illnesses creates an environment where people are reluctant or unable to get the help they need. Untreated mental health problems have a range of follow-on effects, such as those discussed above.

I truly hope that in my life time things will change. I hope that mental disorder stigma will become history. The field of evidence-based clinical psychology is relatively young, so perhaps it is understandable that the world hasn’t caught on yet. However, we can all do our share. One way to start is for us to change our attitudes towards mental health. We need to speak about it more openly, and only advocate evidence-based treatments, as we would with any other illnesses.

When someone is angry, quite often our immediate reaction is to tell them to calm down. However, have you ever noticed that telling someone to calm down can actually make them angrier?

In this blog, I’m going to discuss the reasons why some people get angry, and share some strategies to help prevent future outbursts.

Many of us have been in this situation:

The anger stimulus could have been many different things: an upsetting email, Microsoft Word’s AutoCorrect feature, Manchester United losing a match you had a bet on, or pictures of an ex-partner on Facebook. Whatever it was, the ancient “fight” response has been activated and blood is pumping through your body. You find yourself in what seems like a uncontrollable rage. However, the belief that anger is uncontrollable in some situations is largely a myth!

One of the most common misconceptions about anger is that it is best to “let it all out”. This comes from the faulty reasoning that pressure builds up inside of us, and screaming, kicking and shouting is necessary to release it. The truth (according to the latest scientific findings) is that screaming, kicking, shouting or acting out in other ways only makes a person’s anger problem worse in the long term! I am now going to discuss one reason why many people get angry, and provide an effective way for dealing with some types of anger.

We all react differently to frustrating and difficult situations. Many of us burst out in anger. A lot of anger outbursts happen due to our internal rules being broken. These rules can be due to moral or ethical reasoning. For example, when you hear about someone being cruel to a child. This anger may be justified, and is therefore difficult to address. However, some of our “rules” are much less clear cut. These are rules that have been created (or learned from family, friends or colleagues) about how we feel the world SHOULD work.

Consider this example: a few weeks ago I was taking a bus from the airport, and the driver was being very rude to me and everyone else. I was little upset, and found myself thinking “the driver SHOULD be more helpful to me and the other passengers”. Another passenger was also upset by the driver’s behaviour, and got in a heated argument. It actually escalated to a point where they were both yelling at each other. Almost certainly, the driver was motivated by SHOULD statements of his own. For example, “everyone SHOULD sit down so I can catch up on my schedule!”. Both parties felt violated, but was it really worth the outbursts?

One of the ideas behind cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) is to identify and challenge or modify unhelpful thinking patterns, including these SHOULD thoughts.

Let’s look at some more examples of should statements, and consider advantages and disadvantages of believing them:

Everyone should always treat me nicely

Benefit	Cost
I will be happy when I am treated nicely.	A major disadvantage of this ‘should’ is that it is unrealistic. It is a fact that some people are rude and inconsiderate. If I think that all people should treat me nicely, I will become infuriated every single time it doesn’t happen. I will experience anger and frustration regularly. This thought is actually making me upset.

Dropping a belief like this is not an easy task. We all have a sense of justice in our head, encoded by our internal rules. However, unfortunately the world isn’t always a fair place. For example, some people are too entitled, selfish or narcissistic to care about the impact they are having on other people. Therefore, it is inevitable that we will encounter people who do not treat us nicely. In fact, we should actually EXPECT it to happen from time to time. If something happens that we are expecting, we are a lot less likely to get angry because of it, and we can learn to think of better strategies to deal with it.

I should always say “yes” to requests from others

Benefit	Cost
Immediately after I say “yes” to other people’s requests I feel relieved to get them off my back.	I will probably be taken advantage of in my personal and professional relationships. I will end up doing lots of things that I really would prefer to avoid. I will end up feeling overburdened. I will end up bitter and resentful of the demands of others.

Once again, this example shows how an internal rule can end up causing unnecessary distress. On the surface it seems reasonable, but if interpreted too strictly, it can lead to anger. For example, it may lead you to expect everyone else to always say “yes” to you, and may cause distress when this turns out not to be so.

Incidentally, SHOULD statements, and a deeper discussion about their role in your mood, are the topic of Part 5 of the AI-Therapy treatment program. The program also identifies your specific SHOULD thoughts, and formulates a CBT intervention to target them.

Back to the original question regarding anger myths and facts: how can you prevent outbursts? In the short term, try not to allow yourself to “let it loose”, as this can lead to a pattern of learned behaviour that is only supporting the anger response. It is better to step back, and try to remove yourself from the situation until the anger wave has passed. Every time you successfully stop an outburst before it happens, the better you become at it. Practice, practice, practice.

In the long term, you should take a close look at your internal rules (i.e. your SHOULD statements). It is very likely that some of these are underpinning your anger. Once you have identified your SHOULDs, CBT can be used to target them.

The world isn’t always a fair place, and it never will be. We can do our best to make it a better place, but we can’t always control the actions of others. However, you can learn to control your reactions to perceived wrongs.

Launch

Our July/August 2012 launch exceeded our expectations. We’ve had over 3500 visits so far, so thanks to everyone for checking us out and helping spread the word. We’re still actively promoting the site, so please contact us if you have any ideas about how we can reach more people. Any links, blog reviews, etc. would be great.

New free online social anxiety symptom assessment

Shortly after launch we added a free symptom test for social anxiety.

Blog

We will put out a new blog every week (give or take) on a wide range of topics. Some recent entries include:

Anger myths and facts – how to prevent future outbursts

How Excel can help you achieve goals

How to avoid the “Top 5 regrets of the dying”

The problem with self help books – they can make social anxiety worse!

Social phobia vs Spider phobia

Spider phobia (aka arachnophobia)

Future

We’ve got lots of exciting ideas in the works, so please keep an eye on the blog and come back soon!

Thank you for visiting! As always, we’d love to hear from you as our goal is to be constantly improving our site.

Internet CBT treatment for social phobia. What is it?

A man [woman] who does not think for himself [herself] does not think at all.
-Oscar Wilde

I added the brackets to remind you, my dear reader, that it is 2012.

Internet CBT treatment for social phobia

I have created a video to help explain Internet CBT treatment for social phobia. One goal of this treatment is finding out what type of thinking people use. The video is designed to help people become more aware of these thoughts. Thinking about thinking is the first step.

Social phobia is characterised by an inflated threat perception in social situations. Sufferers experience intense fear of negative evaluation and see amplified threats in being judged by others. This exaggerated fear response has a marked impact on their relationships with others, in both public (e.g. work) and private life (e.g relationships). Frequently people suffer from low mood and exhaustion due to the distress the problem causes. Sufferers fear, avoid, or endure with significant stress the following: conversations, meeting new people, expressing a controversial opinion or disagreement, being assertive, speaking in front of a group, being the centre of attention, eating, drinking, or making mistakes in front of others.

Our Internet CBT treatment for social phobia (http://www.AI-Therapy.com) is a professional website incorporating a computerised CBT practitioner that we have been building since 2007. CBT, or Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, is a well known treatment approach supported by several hundred controlled experimental trials. Our Internet CBT treatment for social phobia offers you a fully automated computer psychologist that tailors your treatment to the specific symptoms that you report to the system. The database it uses is derived from a wealth of psychological data gathered in major anxiety and mood clinics over the past 20 years.

Your subscription lasts for 6 months, and includes the following online treatment procedures: (1) cognitive restructuring exercises; (2) mindfulness tasks; (3) exposure exercises and behavioural experiments; (4) education about the nature of anxiety and depression; (5) quizzes to test your growing understanding of your condition and its treatment; (6) emails to motivate and remind you to access the program; (7) online assessment tools to measure your improvement; and (8) voice overs by me Fjola and Ross explaining each treatment procedure covered in the program.

AI-Therapy is an Internet-based CBT treatment for social phobia comprising 7 sections. Section 1 helps the user get in the habit of becoming aware of their thoughts and behaviours. Sections 2-6 teach strategies to address unhelpful thinking and behaviours. Section 7 is focused on relapse prevention so that the user can maintain their changes in the long run.

Try a 10 questions free social phobia symptoms test

Social anxiety is a persistent and chronic mental health problem¹. It is estimated that between 7%-12% of people experience social anxiety at some point in their life². This means that it impacts from four to seven million people in Britain alone!

The problem of social anxiety can come in many forms, such as extreme shyness, or worry about negative evaluation by other people. It is often persistent throughout an individual’s lifetime, and therefore determining the age of onset can be a complicated matter³. Research data on childhood social anxiety is scarce⁴ , but several authors report that onset is typical in the mid-teens or early adulthood⁵.

The vast majority of people who struggle from social anxiety never seek any treatment.⁶ It is widely established that a social phobia diagnosis is frequently missed in primary care worldwide.⁷ The shame and embarrassment that lie at the heart of social phobia are highly likely to be contributors to this phenomenon. Indeed, the embarrassment is the primary reason why socially anxious individuals do not report their symptoms to their family doctor⁸. In a study of 9,282 individuals it was evident that those with the most severe social phobia were the least likely to receive treatment⁹.

Astonishingly, once the diagnosis has been made, it can take up to 17 years for treatment to be sought.

One solution is online CBT treatment for social anxiety

Given the above problems, there is a strong need to find and facilitate ways to make it easier for socially phobic individuals to seek and receive professional help¹⁰. One of the goals of AI-Therapy is to address this problem. The core ideas were developed as part of my PhD research, but have now been extended to be an online self-help treatment for a wider audience. One goal behind this method of service is to reach those who would never make into a psychology clinic in the first place. Furthermore, it provides an option for those who, for one reason or another, are unable to see a psychologist on a regular basis. Finally, the anonymity of online therapy can be an advantage for some clients.

1) Yonker 2003

2) Furmark, 2002; Kessler et al., 2005; Ruscio et al., 2008

3) Rapee, Schniering, & Hudson, 2009.

4) Rapee et al., 2009

5) Antony & Rowa, 2008; Antony, Federici, & Stein, 2009; Hofmann et al., 2009

6) Beck & Clark, D. A., 2010.

7) Beck & Clark, D. A., 2010; Lampe, 2009.

8) Davidson, 2007

9) Ruscio et al., 2008.

10) Beck & Clark, D. A., 2010; Lampe, 2009.

The AI-Therapy Blog

Category Archives: Happiness

Can Facebook make you happy?

Tip 1. Moderation

Tip 2: Limit updates from certain people

Tip 3. Don’t rely on Facebook for updates from important people in your life

Tip 4. At the end of each year, use the timeline to find highlights from each month

Tip 1. Moderation

Tip 2: Limit updates from certain people

Tip 3. Don’t rely on Facebook for updates from important people in your life

Tip 4. At the end of each year, use the timeline to find highlights from each month

Fear of failure prevents people from taking risks, yet taking risks is necessary for progress

1) No-help: People who suffer from problems often do not admit to themselves or others that they need help

2) Bad-help: Many people get inappropriate, non-evidence based remedies

3) Suicide: As with physical illnesses, mental illnesses can be fatal

4) Alcoholism: Drinking to cope with problems

5) Decrease quality of life: Happiness, health, relationships, etc

Summary

Everyone should always treat me nicely

I should always say “yes” to requests from others

Launch

New free online social anxiety symptom assessment

More site content

Blog

Future

Internet CBT treatment for social phobia

Try a 10 questions free social phobia symptoms test

One solution is online CBT treatment for social anxiety