Finding the right people to share with

Sharing your story

Although discussing your situation with others can be a helpful, you probably don't want to share your whole story with everybody you meet. There are several reasons why you might decide not to be completely open:

  • Recounting the details of your struggles can be exhausting and upsetting.
  • Sharing with the wrong people may result in unwelcome advice or judgment.
  • If too many people know, you may feel as though you can never escape from the issue. Even when people don't bring it up, you know it's on their mind.

It is important to remind yourself that you have no obligation to share details of your personal life with anyone who asks. However, there will likely be times that you do want to talk about it, but it important to select the right people.

Choosing the right people

When trying to figure out who is going to be helpful, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do you feel comfortable talking openly and honestly to this person?
  • Do you think they would be supportive in the right way?
  • If they say something that would upset you would you feel comfortable saying ‘that is not very helpful right now’?
  • Do you trust that this person will not share your information if you don’t want them to?
  • Does this person have experience dealing with fertility related problems? If so, would their advice be helpful for me?

Something to keep in mind

Please remember that no matter how carefully you choose who to talk to, there will always be people who are surprisingly unhelpful. If you discover this after sharing with someone, you may need to develop some strategies for dealing with unhelpful comments, which is a topic covered later in this section.