Fjola Helgadottir, PhD, CPsychol, is a clinical psychologist who has worked in
Australia and at the University of Oxford in the UK. She is a Director of AI-Therapy
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So far we have looked at a few strategies for getting through the monthly cycle:
Accepting that trying to "control the uncontrollable" is unhelpful
Avoiding online ovulation calculators that lead to a false sense of precision
Writing a letter to your future self
This page contains some other strategies that may be helpful.
Making plans for that time of the month
You may find it helpful to plan an activity to keep you occupied around the time when the period is due to start. I'm sure you have lots of ideas, but here are a few of mine:
spend time with fun friends who aren't child focused
a weekend camping trip
start reading that novel you've had your eye on
go to a concert in a different city
get a whole season box set of a TV show (some of my favorites are Homeland, The Good Wife, Breaking Bad, etc.)
start a new hobby, such as learning a language, a fitness class, etc.
kick off some projects around the house ‐ renovations, redecoration, gardening, etc.
treat yourself to something special, like a day at the spa, manicure, pedicure, etc.
The idea is to find something that you will distract you from your period. Remember, the goal is not to relax in order to increase your chance of conception. This is the type of thinking that may actually lead to greater anxiety and disappointment. Rather, the goal is to enjoy your life, live in the present, and spend less of your precious time focused on whether or not you are pregnant.
A few other tips
Here are a few final thoughts and pieces of advice:
Even for people with no fertility problems, natural conception can take up to several years. The probability of conception in any given month is actually quite low. Therefore, try to take a long-term view, and don't put too much hope into the result of a single month. You are running a marathon, not a sprint.
When the period starts, try to put a positive spin on it. For example, "Oh well, at least I have another month to enjoy some of my favorites ‐ tonight I'm having fancy cheese, sushi and wine!"
Ultimately, none of the tips on this page will make the pain go away completely. You are bound to feel disappointment and sadness when your period starts, and this is completely normal. It is OK to be upset – bottling up your feelings is counterproductive. However, instead of letting it take over your life, try to put limits on it. For example, tell yourself "I'm going go to be upset about this for the next two days. Then I'm going to move on."