social anxiety « The AI-Therapy Blog

The shame and embarrassment that lie at the heart of social phobia are two of the reasons why those who struggle with social anxiety never seek treatment. In fact, studies have shown that a social anxiety diagnosis is usually missed in primary care since people are reluctant to report their symptoms to their GP. Furthermore, a 2008 study found that the more severe the social anxiety, the less likely individuals are to seek treatment. Finally, studies have shown that once a diagnosis has been made, the average length of time before initiating treatment is 17 years. Think about this for a minute.

17 years. Think about all the minutes, seconds, hours and years wasted. Consider the time spent worrying about what you said, worried that someone is upset with you, not asking people to meet up, not catching up with old friends, tormenting yourself after social events about something you feel you said or did wrong. All of these are symptoms of social anxiety, and since there are effective treatments available, there is absolutely no reason to loose 17 years of your life. I urge you to take action today. Contact a qualified clinical psychologist, or try an online solution like AI-Therapy’s Overcome Social Anxiety.

Fjola Helgadottir, PhD, CPsychol, is a clinical psychologist, a senior research clinician at the University of Oxford, and is a co-creator of AI-Therapy.com, an online CBT treatment program for overcoming social anxiety

I have been writing about social anxiety for a while now in academic publications, social media and in the media. However, it seems to receive a lot less reaction from people than other mental health issues, such as obsessive compulsive disorder or infertility stress.

I’ve been wondering why this is, and I have come to the conclusion that one reason is that most people don’t really understand social anxiety. How would they? People with social anxiety are experts at hiding their problem, and the mental anguish they experience.

I welcome everyone’s stories who have suffered from this problem. I would like to help raise awareness of the problem, and one way might be with a collection of anecdotes from people who live with this. Do you know anyone, or do you have a personal story about social anxiety that you would like to share? If you send it to me (fjola@ai-therapy.com) I’ll publish it anonymously – I understand that most people with social anxiety are afraid of being open about their problem. For those who contribute, you’ll be helping others by identifying what social anxiety is and raising awareness of this debilitating condition!

It was great to see that yesterday BBC was covering how difficult Christmas can be for those with social anxiety. However, I have to disagree with the psychologist who was quoted in the article:

Chartered clinical psychologist Dr Oliver James believes that any benefits related to CBT are temporary, and effective treatment should deal with the causes as well as the symptoms of anxiety.

“It [CBT] encourages people to tell themselves a story about their anxiety and makes no attempt at all to understand the causes,” he claims.

He is clearly not up to date with latest scientific findings about the value of CBT for treating social anxiety, since both of these arguments are flat out wrong. (1) Decades of research consistently show that gains made from CBT therapy are maintained in the long term. (2) It directly tackles the underlying causes of social anxiety by targeting the thoughts and behaviors that maintain it.

Fjola Helgadottir, PhD, MClinPsych, is a clinical psychologist, a senior research clinician at the University of Oxford, and is a co-creator of AI-Therapy.com, an online CBT treatment program for overcoming social anxiety

The relationship between salaries and social anxiety

It is a known fact that one area where social anxiety has a big impact on people’s lives is in the workplace. In particular, studies have found that people with social anxiety are less likely to be promoted and have, on average, lower salaries.

When was the last time you asked your boss for a raise?

Lack of assertiveness is one cause of this problem. For some people, being assertive is “too risky” since they have a strong fear of negative judgement – particularly by authority figures. For example, you might be worried about annoying or upsetting your boss, so you convince yourself that “now is not a good time to ask”. Unfortunately, the “right time” never seems to present itself.

In the past, psychologists and counselors would teach you techniques about how to present yourself. For example, common advice would be “make eye contact” and “stand tall with a straight back”. However, if you learn techniques like these without tackling the underlying social anxiety or the fear of negative evaluation, you’ll probably still struggle to gather the courage to ask for a raise.

Facing your fears (with CBT) can be a life changing experience.

One of the most effective ways to tackle anxiety is with a technique called cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). This is a long term solution, since it helps people evaluate and challenge their thoughts and behaviors, making them more likely to engage in activities they previously avoided.

In our AI-Therapy program, we use CBT to identify and target the thoughts and behaviors underlying the user’s social anxiety. Not only do our user report fewer social anxiety symptoms after completing the program, but also an increase in happiness and overall quality of life. Who knows – maybe it will give you the courage to ask for that promotion in 2014?

It seems like every time I open Facebook or LinkedIn I see some tips from celebrities or entrepreneurs how to be more confident or successful. In reality, a little talent, a lot of hard work, and some lucky breaks are the key ingredients to success. Yet, successful people have a tendency to attribute their trajectories to a handful of tricks people “must do” in order to succeed. Unfortunately, these tips aren’t always as helpful as they seem. In fact, they can even lead to safety behaviors. If social anxiety is a problem for you, it is important to learn about the role of safety behaviors, and see if you are using them to “play it safe” socially.

This blog post is the first in a series where I will give some common tips, and explain why they are actually counterproductive.

Tip 1. Pretend to be interested in other people

The self-improvement writer Dale Carnegie recommends that people pretend to be interested in what others are saying during conversation. While this may sound reasonable when we are trying to impress someone, it can actually backfire. First, the other person might sense a lack of genuine interest in the topic, and find it uncomfortable that the listener is pretending to be interested. Second, if the social interaction results in a positive response, the pretender is likely to attribute the success to their pretense of being interested, not that they were liked for who they are. Third, this sort of behavior can maintain unhelpful thoughts people have about themselves, such as “I’m so plain and boring”. Every social interaction is an opportunity for people to disconfirm these types of unhelpful thoughts. However, every time safety behaviors are used, an opportunity is missed.

Tip 2. Read over your emails at least 5 times

Many of us overemphasize the importance of wording in our emails. Whilst this may seem reasonable, it simply isn’t always helpful. In fact, some of the most successful people I have corresponded with send me emails full of spelling mistakes (probably due to auto spelling) and no formal structure. Life is too short to read emails more than a couple of times. Try sending emails without proofing them: it’s difficult at first, but then it becomes liberating. It becomes easier to respond from your phone or tablet, and can save you from thinking about the emails when you are doing something else!

In other news, I just had a peer reviewed paper on safety behaviors accepted in the Journal of Speech, Language and Hearing Research. Once it is in press, I will blog about this as well!

Last night I went to see Captain Phillips (not a blog-worthy experience in itself, but the movie was very good). One of the advertisements was for the latest Google Nexus 7:

This ad has been viewed millions of times on YouTube, not including all the views on TV and in movie theaters. The fear of public speaking has been a research topic within psychology for at least two decades, and major advancements have been made. In particular, it is now known that cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is the most successful way to decrease fear and anxiety. Furthermore, the elimination of safety behaviors is a crucial component in tackling this problem. In this advert, it looks as if one simply needs to prepare (and being Google, “preparation” is watching YouTube speeches with a Nexus tablet). Obviously, there is much more to it than this. In fact, over-preparation is a behavior that can actually maintain social anxiety in the long term. In other words, sometimes the things we do to cope with short term anxiety are the very reason why the anxiety persists in the long run.

I am not saying it is unhelpful to watch clips of great speakers – we can all learn a lot from the masters. Also, being adequately prepared is important. However, real life can be more of a struggle than it is presented in commercials, and true gains are the result of hard work, not a fancy new tablet.